TMI and ID Counseling
by tardisblue27
Summary: I do not own the mortal instruments, the infernal devices or any of these characters! They belong to Cassandra Clare! Clary soon finds out exactly why she doesn't have training on Wednesday...
1. Chapter 1

Fan Fiction TMI Counseling

Clary walked along the institute hallways, looking for some signs of human life as she hummed her favorite song. It was Wednesday and even though she didn't have training on Wednesdays she thought it would be nice to surprise Jace. She was very surprised to see the institute deserted.

Suddenly she heard voices coming from the training room. They seemed to be laughing at something. She twisted the door knob and stumbled ungracefully into the training room. What she saw baffled her. Everyone was there Alec, Jace Isabelle, Will, Jem, and Tessa. They all were sitting in fold out chairs that were arranged in a circle. As soon as she walked in everyone looked at her in surprise and all conversation immediately ceased.

" Clary," Jace said "what are you doing here?"

Clary looked at everyone each in turn " I'd ask you the same question. This doesn't look like training."

Izzy took the privilege of replying "Of course it isn't. It's Wednesday." Then after dropping that vague information proceeded to inspect her nails.

"And what does that mean? What is this? Some sort of demon slaying support group?" Clary asked.

Jace looked down at his shoes " I was hoping that I'd never have to tell you this."

Jem looked at Clary with his kind eyes "Clary this is the way that the residents of the institute... let out steam."

Clary still didn't understand " about what?"

"You." Will answered honestly. "Now, don't look so offended we do this to everyone. Everyday we talk crap about one of us, and the person we talk about isn't invited. You, my dear just happened to be on Wednesday. They talk about me on Mondays, though I can hardly imagine that there is much to complain about." Will leaned back in his chair and folded his head in his arms,

Clary didn't know what to say. All she could think of was "This doesn't seem healthy."

Jace finally looked at her in the eye " You'd be surprised at how much it helps. Naturally I don't have a day assigned, because I'm just that flawless."

Tessa took this opportunity to interject that his assigned day was in fact on Friday. At this remark Jace looked utterly betrayed, he held his hand to his heart in fake hurt.

" You betrayed me! If this is a lie then who knows what else might be? Is your name even Tessa?"

"No," Tessa responded with sarcasm " My real name is actually Sergeant Sexy."

" Then your whoever named you was obviously on drugs, your not sexy at all." Jace joked

Tessa punched him in the arm affectionately, as if he was her little brother. Even through all this distracting banter, Clary couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal, because Jace had talked about her and she wanted to know what he had said. Clary pulled up a chair next to Jace and sat down facing him.

" Jace look-"

" Woah, woah, woah!" Alec shouted, " What are you doing? Your not supposed to stay! It's Wednesday, we haven't finished our session!"

"it's true," Isabelle said as she shrugged " Your not supposed to be here, because it causes people to hold back."

" Hold back?" Clary asked " So it's like a hate fest?"

"Yes Clary , I thought we already went through this." Isabelle chided "We should add this to our discussion, how sometimes it takes Clary way to long to grasp things."

Clary rolled her eyes. " Fine. I'll see you guys later." as she left she poked her head in one more time and added " Don't hold back!"

" Oh don't worry we wont!" Jem shouted back.

Everyone looked at him pointedly.

"what?" he asked " She told us not to."

" I do believe," will added "that I detected a hint of sarcasm in her heavy Brooklyn accent?"

This was the last Clary heard as she walked back down the hallway back to the elevator, then she stopped mid stride. If her day was on Wednesday, then why wasn't she invited for the other six days of the week?


	2. Chapter 2

Epilogue

_I finally made it, _Clary thought as she twisted her fingers excitedly in her hands. It took two weeks of convincing but they had finally let her come to "counseling" (that's what they call it so that it sounds justified.). When she had confronted them and asked why she wasn't invited for the other meetings they had told her that they just hadn't known her long enough. Clary felt she could describe that excuse using by using one of Will's sayings: utter rubbish.

Nonetheless they had begrudgingly allowed her to come and had even typed her a list of the rules that they follow. It looked like this:

1) Thou shall not defend thy person assigned to this date.

2) Thou shall contribute to the discussion (No wallflowers. THAT MEANS YOU ALEC!)

3) Thou shall bring food and 'munchies' so that our humble group may stuff our faces as we trash talk our beloved friends.

4) Thou shall only discuss the person who is assigned to this day. We are somewhat civil people, after all..

5) What happens in counseling STAYS in counseling. Thou shall not speak of what is spoken during a session.

6) Any failure to comply with theses rules will be terminated from the session immediately, no exceptions and no backsees.

Clary had just finished rereading the sheet for about the hundredth time when an exhausted Tessa plopped down on the chair next to Clary. Tessa's hair was out of its braid and she had food splattered all over her. It was on her clothes, hands and even in her hair. Tessa, catching Clary's bewildered gaze took the opportunity to explain.

" I forgot to buy some food for counseling so I had to make brownies. And well, lets just say that I have a pesky habit of burning water, now lets imagine what would happen if I had baking powder, cocoa, and eggs."

Before Clary could reply, Will pulled up a chair next to Tessa. His hair was damp, and the color was high on his cheeks. He looked as if he'd just gotten out of the shower, and was carrying a large bag of cheese its slung under his arm. When he smiled at Tessa, his eyes lit up like blue torches. You could tell where Jace got his good looks.

" Hey Tess, you made brownies! I'm guessing it was a struggle judging by the way your face darkened tragically when I said brownies."

Tessa looked at her brownies with a look of utter loathing, " I don't want to talk about it." was all she said.

Clary cleared her throat and tried desperately to change the subject. She didn't like the way Tessa was still staring at the brownies, as if she was plotting a long and painful death for them.

" So," Clary said " I read your rules. They're very umm..."

" Descriptive? Genius? Strict?" Will suggested.

" I was going to say ten commandments, but those are good words too. Umm... did you use 'thou' and 'thy' right?" Clary hesitantly added.

Will was quick to quip up a vague response. " We used them as Jace and I saw fit. I mean Jesus Clary, do you always have to ask questions about _everything?_."

_Well, someone is defensive _Clary thought as she tried to formulate as response. She stared at into Will's blue eyes to see if he was joking but he remained expressionless.

"Okay." was all Clary said as she looked down at her shoes.

"Ahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah!" Will doubled over laughing. Will's eyes were once more bright and alive with laughter. " You should have seen your face! And when you looked down at your shoes-"

Will cut off, noticing that Clary wasn't getting it.

" I was joking Clary! I wouldn't really be that rude, not for reason."

" Okay "

" Clary, here is the part where you laugh." Will looked at her expectantly.

Clary was spared having to awkwardly laugh by the arrival of Jem. When Jem entered he sat down next to Will and they began an in depth conversation. Clary zoned out and listened to music for the next five minutes or so as she waited for everything to get started.

Counseling finally started when the last few stragglers finally showed up. Alec stood up and strode to the middle of the circle, he seemed to be leading this session. He was wearing simple jeans and a black sweater, it was plain but still fashionable; and his shoes were _awesome. _Clary could see a touch of Magnus in those shoes.

" Okay everyone, lets get started." He began " Because you all possess some type of calendar, you know it's Friday. So today we are going to talk about Jace."

Clary didn't understand why Jace's _parabatai_ was leading this meeting if they were just going to rag on Jace. So she leaned over and whispered to Tessa, " Hey, why is Alec leading this? Him and Jace are best friends, did Alec ask to lead this?"

Tessa whispered back, " One of the privileges is that you can pick who leads the session on your day. Jace picked Alec, figuring he'd go easy on him. He couldn't have been more wrong; Alec is a huge gossiper. He's like Regina George on steroids. "

From that day on Clary would never see Alec exactly the same again.

Alec reached the end of his debriefing. He turned and looked at everyone each in turn slowly as if gauging everyone's reaction.

"So," He asked " Who wants to go first?"

.


	3. Chapter 3

Isabelle's bracelets jingled against one another as her hand shot up instantly. Her hair wasn't in it's usual glamour today, it was in two plain French braids, but it still looked better than Clary's.

" Jace kept me up all night with his stupid rendition of Whitney Houston songs. As a result I woke up late for training and didn't get to fix my hair the way I wanted."

Alec paced around the circle and his icy blue eyes turned to Isabelle. He pushed his hair out of his eyes, as if trying to be one of those dramatic hosts to a reality TV show. " And why," he said " was he up so late singing Whitney Houston?"

" Because," Isabelle continued with severity " He was up taking a shower, _and then he was texting Clary." _

Immediately all the eyes and heads swiveled to face Clary. She was so ashamed by the accusations in their eyes that she was compelled to look down at her converse just to avoid eye contact. _You shouldn't feel ashamed. You did nothing wrong. You had nothing to with his long night singing Whitney Houston. _She tried running these thoughts through her head over and over, but they did little to ease the judgmental stares that were being cast her way.

" Will, write this down under Clary's name on the white board."

Clary looked around the training room until her eyes rested on an old white board that was wheeled against the wall by the door. On this white board were seven columns with all of their names at the top. In the third column was Clary's name, where Will was writing vigorously. Once he stepped back and returned to his seat, Clary was able to see what it read. What was written didn't surprise her.

CLARY IS INCONSIDERATE BECAUSE SHE TEXTES JACE LATE AT NIGHT WITHOUT THINKING THAT THIS MIGHT RESULT IN JACE SINGING WHITNEY HOUSTON CLASSICS ALL NIGHT; RESULTING IN MASS SLEEP DEPRIVATION OF THE RESIDENTS OF THE INSTITUTE.

" Really?" Clary asked " Who actually finds this reasonable in the slightest?"

Everyone in the room raise raised their hand.

" Silence." Alec had regained control of the conversation " Clary, we wrote that on the board so that we won't forget it for Wednesday. This meeting is about Jace and Jace only. Tessa? Jem? Do you two mind passing out the munchies and nibbles?"

" Not at all." Jem said. H stood up with Tessa and they walked over to the plastic table that held all the snacks. The table was foldable so that it could be easily put away when they trained. Tessa started emptying the bags of snacks onto plates while Jem poured everyone glass of Hawaiian Punch. When they finished, Tessa handed everyone a plate of snacks, while Jem passed out drinks. As he passed Will, he gave him two drinks instead of one.

" Will, " Isabelle complained " you _always _drink all the Hawaiian Punch. Can you at least try to save some for everyone?"

Will, as always, was quick to respond " But I _need _this extra Hawaiian Punch. We have a very deep relationship, you see?" To prove his point he took a long drawl from his cup, when he lowered it, his mouth was slightly stained red. He looked like a mischievous, blood drinking, angel.

" I apologize for Will," Jem was very calm, as if he was used to apologizing on his parabatai's behalf. " but Will has an intense addiction to this sugary substance you call Hawaiian Punch."

" I do not have an addiction," Will crossed his arm and leaned back in his aluminum chair. " I can stop whenever I like."

"Okay then, stop"

"No."

" But you said-"

" I said whenever _I _like, James"

Alec took Jem's pause to as an opportunity to once again steer the group back on topic.

" Enough, everyone. Lets stay on task." Alec sounded like a school teacher reigning in a naughty class. " Does anyone else have anything they'd like to say?"

" Well," Tessa added absent-mindedly " Now that I think about it, Jace _will not shut up about his hair._" Noticing the doubtful faces in the room, Tessa continued " I'm serious! Yesterday, we were chatting away as usual, and he mentioned his hair like..." Tessa appeared to be counting in her head. " eight times! And in five minutes! _And _the conversation wasn't even about his hair!"

Will seemed interested, or maybe he just loved listening to Tessa. She could be telling him off and he'd just be happy to hear the sound of her voice.

" Jace doesn't usually concern himself with things like his hair, like me, his beauty is all _natural._" Will batted his eyes for good measure.

"Really?" Tessa teased " Because, I _swore _I saw a flat iron on your bathroom counter, and it was warm."

Will shrugged dramatically " I haven't the slightest idea of what your talking about. Anyway," Will was quick to change the subject " you didn't answer my question."

"Well," Tessa struggled to remember " Umm... let me see. Oh yes, now I remember. He was going to go train with _Clary _and didn't want his hair to look bad."

Everyone looked at Clary as if she'd slapped a grandmother. It wasn't _her _fault that Jace was worried about his hair. Though his hair did look good yesterday.

Will rose from his chair. " I'll go write it on the board." He strolled over to the board and wrote in big letters under her name. When he pulled away Clary could read it entirely.

CLARY LIKES TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE FEEL INSECURE, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO TALK NONSTOP, WHICH DRIVEES EVERYONE ELSE CRAZY.

" You have got to be kidding me." Clary stood up " That's not my fault! You shouldn't be blaming me!" The words wouldn't stop pouring from her lips " And Jace's hair looked _great _yesterday! Who cares if he mentioned his hair eight times?! You people, Just want as excuse! That's what this is! An excuse to talk about others and make your lives more interesting! As if we need that! I think our lives are a little to interesting, don't you think? And you know what-"

" What?" Clary was interrupted mid sentence by Jem, who was very clueless to the rhetorical-ness of her question. Jem was very sweet and was trying to be polite, but he was kind of clueless. The rest of the group watched, waiting to see how she would handle this without hurting his feelings. Clary didn't know how Jem could be apart of these meetings.

" Um, Jem?"

" Yes, Clary?"

" That was a rhetorical question."

" Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Is that why everyone is so quiet?"

" Yes, Jem."

" You can continue if you like, Clary. I hope I didn't kill the moment."

" You kind of did, Jem."

Alec stood up and had a peculiar look in his face. It wasn't necessarily anger, or excitement, or his common nervous smile. Alec looked, _alive_

" Enough! Clary! You broke several rules! You will be discharged from counseling immediately!"

" But I wa-" Clary was cut off.

" No 'buts'! You broke one of the most sacred rules, you defended the person being discussed!" Now, go!"

Will picked up his head from his knuckle and raised his pointer finger as if to declare a point " And," Will added " She didn't bring any nibbles," he turned to Clary " You monster." He shook his head and returned to his prior position.

" Fine" Clary sniffed " I'll just take my stuff and go." She picked up her plate and cup and started walking to the door.

" Um, Clary?" Isabelle gestured to the plate and cup.

" Fine." Clary put her plate of snacks and cup of Hawaiian punch back on the white table. Then she gathered up her courage and dignity and strode out the door in what was a beautiful exit.

Then, about five seconds later, she walked back in.

" Ughh, I forgot my bag."


	4. Chapter 4

**Tessa**

Things were a little tense at counseling. Ever since Clary had been evicted, Jace was in a bit of a mood. Even now, as Tessa passed out snacks with Will,(Will and Jem like to take urns helping her pass out snacks) Jace's face resembled a storm cloud; Quiet, yet dark and rumbling. Tessa bought goldfish to counseling today on an effort brighten him up, but he persisted to be in a pesky mood.

" No brownies today, Tessa?" Jace crooned. He looked at her with lowered eyelashes held out his plate for goldfish.

" Hey," Tessa shot back " I wonder where Clary is."

Jem, always a sweetie, leaned in helpfully to answer her question. " Oh, she was evicted. Don't you remember Tessa?" Jem was always pleasant, but sometimes he could be as clueless as Henry was.

Isabelle put her face in her hands and her shoulders shook with silent laughter. Unfortunately, as amusing this was, it didn't do much to help Jace's mood. He shook his plate rapidly and impatiently, which caused her to clumsily fumble for the goldfish resulting in her dropping the carton on the floor.

Jace looked down at the goldfish. " Well, I guess that's that."

Tessa bent down to scoop the goldfish back into the carton, half the people probably didn't care that this was on the floor anyway.

" You know, Tessa" Jace added " For some odd reason, this reminds me of genocide. Seeing all those poor goldfish, brutally slain by a rabid beastie such as you-"

" Jace," Tessa cut him off " please, stop talking."

**Clary**

So far, Tuesday was being pretty boring. After training, she was left to her own devices, so she went for a walk. Then she went home. Then she showered. Then she laid on the couch. Then she laid on her bed. Then she laid across a chair. Then she, well you get the idea.

Then she had an epiphany. Simon! She could call Simon! She grabbed her phone and called rapidly dialed the number of her best friend.

**Simon**

Simon's phone went off smack in the middle of counseling. It was his first time here and he was trying really hard not to mess up as royally as Clary had.

He remembered Isabelle telling him, " They're really reluctant to let anyone in, because of what went down with Clary. Apparently it's "shaking the rock hard foundation that was instilled in their group from it's conception."

"Wow," Simon was taken aback " that was pretty deep."

" Will said it." Isabelle flipped her hair, " He can be _so _dramatic."

Now Simon was sitting in a circle with the others, and Tessa was handing him his share of goldfish, when suddenly his phone started ringing.

"Ugh," Will looked appalled " Why would someone _ever _make their ringtone a duck? I would have preferred the sound of a thousand damned souls to the sound of a duck. "

" I like ducks." Jem looked at Will, knowing this would get a reaction

Simon didn't pay enough attention to see Will's reaction to his friend's blunt betrayal, he was too busy answering his phone.

" Clary, hey"

" Hey, Simon. Watcha doin'?"

" Uh, nothing much. How about you?"

" Nothing, at home. Being bored. Do you want to hang out?"

Crap, Simon thought. He didn't want to lie to Clary, not at all, but he wasn't exactly sure how to break the news that he was meeting with a group that she had gotten kicked out of.

"Uh, actually I am busy."

" Oh, okay. Are you with Eric?"

Simon couldn't lie to her anymore, he had to tell her. " Actually, no. I'm at counseling."

" What? Why? How? Who invited you?"

" Isabelle invited me."

" But, you can't get into the institute."

" Yeah, um. We're at Luke's."

" Are you serious?! Luke is in on this too! Sorry Simon, I have to go."

After Clary hung up, Simon noticed that everyone was looking at him. Jace surveyed him warily, as if Simon was an inactive, yet deadly bomb.

" Simon?" Jace asked politely, his voice covered in honey  
" Yes? " Simon was pleasantly surprised, Jace seemed to be in a better mood.

Jace continued, " Just to be sure, exactly how thick are you?"

Simon was surprised, " Did you just call me fat? That's very rude you know."

Jace sounded like a mean school teacher, full of amused contempt " It's another word for dumb."

Isabelle chimed in, " Why would you randomly spout that out Jace?"

" Yeah, " Tessa scolded " That's really impolite especially with any provocation. "

Jace looked at all them slowly, each in turn. " My, my, are you all oblivious, self absorbed, or stupid." Seeing all their faces blank, he continued, " Jocelyn and Luke are engaged? Right? Practically married you could say. Well, obviously they live together, Jocelyn, Luke, _and _Clary."

Simon stood up from his chair " But Clary said that she was home."

They were in the back of the bookstore, where there was the most room to spread out their foldable chairs.

Jace looked at the door leading from the upstairs apartment expectantly, " Yup."


End file.
